You’re not scared enough

Posted by Shilah Harmer on

Looking for success?

Simple...do the things that scare you the most. Well, maybe it’s not quite that simple, but that’s a really good starting point. You know that shaking, sweaty, can’t breathe feeling that comes on when faced with something nerve wracking, like a high stakes competition, bringing a challenging horse out in public, or trying something you’ve never tried before?

 

Ya, that...you need to do that...

 

Oh you’ve done it but you weren’t very successful or it still scares you?

 

Do it again, and again...maybe this feels like your thousandth attempt to conquer a challenge and it never seems to get easier, or better? You feel like you are starting over each time? Keep going....

 

These are the moments when focusing less on the end result and more on the process, matters so much. It’s why a lot of us quit something. We didn’t see the end result so why keep trying? We’ve all read variations of “enjoy the process more than the reward” from supposed experts...like what do they know anyway...well maybe there is something to it after all.

 

We are all pretty quick to judge someone else’s success (myself included), and come up with all kinds of reasons why they made it and we didn’t. When really, they just had more courage to face and do the things that scared them.

 

The cold hard truth is we don’t know what someone else is or has gone through just to get through their days and be a functioning human being, never mind a person we view as successful, accomplished, has it all figured out etc.

 

It’s hard to not be envious of their success, and think they’ve got it all going on...we are really good at making assumptions after all...must have had lots of help, money, luck along the way. And although that might be the case in some situations, we can’t begin to understand someone else’s struggles. Which is why it’s so important that we not assume anything and instead perfect the practice of focusing on our own journey and less on someone else’s. In a magical world, if we were able to see what everyone around us was struggling with, we would probably be shocked.

 

Every person that you view as successful, and seems to have it all, has done more work and been through more adversity than we ourselves might even be willing to do. Sometimes this might not even be a physical struggle but personal growth and mindset.

 

Hence another important point from the experts, “are you willing to do what it takes?” So be honest with yourself, are you actually willing to do what scares you, are you willing to struggle in public to grow and find your OWN success? How badly do you want to reach those goals? How much are you willing to give up, and sacrifice to get there? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself.

 

How much attention do you give to being in the moment, and appreciating the experiences good or bad? Are you hating the struggles you are challenged with or, saying bring it on. Do you have a clear vision on the steps you need to take to progress? Are you willing to look at your failures as a lesson and find something positive each time?

 

Your focus, time, commitment and determination are required for you to reach any destination, but it’s beginning to seem evident that it’s the scary journey inbetween where you are now and where you want to be that makes all the difference.

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