Simple...do the things that scare you the most.
]]>Simple...do the things that scare you the most. Well, maybe it’s not quite that simple, but that’s a really good starting point. You know that shaking, sweaty, can’t breathe feeling that comes on when faced with something nerve wracking, like a high stakes competition, bringing a challenging horse out in public, or trying something you’ve never tried before?
Ya, that...you need to do that...
Oh you’ve done it but you weren’t very successful or it still scares you?
Do it again, and again...maybe this feels like your thousandth attempt to conquer a challenge and it never seems to get easier, or better? You feel like you are starting over each time? Keep going....
These are the moments when focusing less on the end result and more on the process, matters so much. It’s why a lot of us quit something. We didn’t see the end result so why keep trying? We’ve all read variations of “enjoy the process more than the reward” from supposed experts...like what do they know anyway...well maybe there is something to it after all.
We are all pretty quick to judge someone else’s success (myself included), and come up with all kinds of reasons why they made it and we didn’t. When really, they just had more courage to face and do the things that scared them.
The cold hard truth is we don’t know what someone else is or has gone through just to get through their days and be a functioning human being, never mind a person we view as successful, accomplished, has it all figured out etc.
It’s hard to not be envious of their success, and think they’ve got it all going on...we are really good at making assumptions after all...must have had lots of help, money, luck along the way. And although that might be the case in some situations, we can’t begin to understand someone else’s struggles. Which is why it’s so important that we not assume anything and instead perfect the practice of focusing on our own journey and less on someone else’s. In a magical world, if we were able to see what everyone around us was struggling with, we would probably be shocked.
Every person that you view as successful, and seems to have it all, has done more work and been through more adversity than we ourselves might even be willing to do. Sometimes this might not even be a physical struggle but personal growth and mindset.
Hence another important point from the experts, “are you willing to do what it takes?” So be honest with yourself, are you actually willing to do what scares you, are you willing to struggle in public to grow and find your OWN success? How badly do you want to reach those goals? How much are you willing to give up, and sacrifice to get there? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself.
How much attention do you give to being in the moment, and appreciating the experiences good or bad? Are you hating the struggles you are challenged with or, saying bring it on. Do you have a clear vision on the steps you need to take to progress? Are you willing to look at your failures as a lesson and find something positive each time?
Your focus, time, commitment and determination are required for you to reach any destination, but it’s beginning to seem evident that it’s the scary journey inbetween where you are now and where you want to be that makes all the difference.
]]>If you missed it, you can catch up on it here, Are you playing mind games?
Let me just say that I am still growing and learning and it definitely wasn’t a transformation overnight kind of thing, (though I wish it was that easy lol). But...this unfortunate event really made me realize how much I controlled my perspective on everything!!
At that moment, I was faced with a huge decision...how was I going to think and feel about this life changing event?
But, before we go any further let me fill you in on this particular event…
It all started the winter of 2016, when a friend asked for help with a pony (bad idea we all know how nasty those little buggers can be!)...We were handling him when he started to lose his mind, like not just a little, but he wanted to make me hurt! Me being the stubborn kind, and I ain’t no quitter, decided that he wasn’t going to win this battle...(also a bad idea, read my what do you need to quit blog post).
Hmmmm...I think I'm seeing a pattern here…
Anyway, apparently this pony was possessed, so when the dust, or in this case the snow settled, I had torn some scar tissue in my neck, from a car accident years ago. I figured I was no worse for wear since I could move my neck better than I had in years, and Mr Nasty himself was definitely no worse for wear...and I actually listened to my gut this time and decided he wasn’t worth any further effort...
After my near death by possessed pony experience, I carried on with the busyness of life, and ignored the nagging soreness in my neck. Fast forward to February of 2017 which started out like any other day, waking up to my alarm to get the kids ready, and then I stood up…
...and found myself on the floor in pain. It was blinding but I brushed it off at first as maybe a pulled muscle, until it continued to get worse. The pain became so severe that I don’t remember much of what followed, other than I ended up in the hospital and they attempted to give me x-rays while I spent most of the time on the floor sobbing in pain.
When they ruled out a broken neck, I was sent home with some pain meds, and added to the waiting list for an MRI. Finding out it could be 6-12 months, I knew I couldn’t wait that long and chose to go to a private clinic instead. Shortly after, I received the news that I had slipped 3 discs in my neck...apparently that pony meant business after all.
Now, I won’t say the rehab was easy or the physical pain I was in was not debilitating, because it was. It took two weeks before I was able to walk and not crawl, and many months before I was able to hold my head upright again. I spent many more months on pain medication, and having traction, physio and acupuncture, and pretty much whatever I could do to avoid the possibility of surgery.
But, the hardest part of the whole ordeal was keeping a positive mindset. I remember being faced with the choice of how I was going to think about the injury and my life moving forward, and that I most definitely had a choice.
I could choose to feel sorry for myself (which at times I did), or I could choose to believe that no matter what happened I would get through it and I would deal with whatever I was faced with head on. I definitely had my fair share of ups and downs, wanting the pain to go away, wanting my life back to normal, and not knowing if or when that would ever happen.
Those kinds of thoughts can definitely send a person to some dark places...but I pushed on and struggled through it even when I didn’t think I had anything left…and believe me there were times I didn’t want to...especially when I realized my life might never be the same, that everything could be different, and that I might not ride again.
What I didn’t realize at the time was how much it would change my future and my life. How the journey shaped me and not the end result, because I didn’t know what the end result would be...I became much more aware of what I was thinking and how much control I did have, even though sometimes I felt like I had none. It taught me how to strengthen my thoughts, and beliefs and even changed my values and self worth along the way.
Sometimes our growth can be so incredibly painful, that we don’t even see it as growth at the time, just feel the pain and the struggles. Wanting so badly to give up not even knowing if we are strong enough to make it through to the other side. Yet, there’s always that whisper deep inside if you listen, to keep going on, a soft and gentle yet firm whisper, telling you, you cant quit because you are so close…
Would you believe me if I told you that you are strong enough, you are always strong enough and you don’t need to know how you’re going to do it? Well you should, because you will always make it, no matter how bad it gets, no matter how many times you feel like quitting, when you think you just can’t go on. Because there is something so special and amazing about you, that you were created with all of your perfections and imperfections, to get you through this.
That even your greatest fears can and will be conquered if you choose. It might not always be easy, and it might be the scariest thing you’ve had to face this far but just on the other side of it is your true freedom. Your truest self is the best version of you yet.
It might feel safer staying where you are, but venturing into your fear and pain will be your biggest growth, I guarantee it.
How, you might ask, can I even begin to know what you are going through?
Well it’s because I have been there too, felt like quitting and giving up on it all. So scared and alone and had no clue how I would ever get through it. But...I chose to change my perspective, my beliefs and my thoughts, and you can choose to change them in yourself too.
Oh...and I am happy to announce that as of this spring I have started to ride again and I am so incredibly blessed to be able to run and play with my kids, live a normal life and just be able to ride a horse again.
I gave myself the gift of believing I would get through this and everything else life has thrown my way, I now walk with my chin held high and know that keeping a positive mindset is so much more important than I ever thought possible.
So if you are feeling like giving up, and you just can’t quite hear that little voice right now, reach out to someone you trust. Know that I too am always here for you, and that I do know what it’s like, that I’ve been to those dark, scary places, where it’s lonely and feels hopeless and hard, and sometimes all we need is someone else to tell us it’s going to be ok.
...that you are going to make it.
Do you often wonder why your competition seems to have all the “luck” in the arena and you have no clue why? Do you spend a tonne of time analyzing how your run went, and how you wish it should have gone?
Maybe you train as much if not more than the girl who just won, and you know that you and your horses are just as athletic and talented, but you seem to miss out on winning or even placing more often than you would like to admit. You often leave feeling so discouraged and at a loss as to what to work on next.
Well girl, I’ve been there, and I am pretty sure we have all been there or are stuck there right now.
I competed regularly when I was younger and had my fair share of accomplishments to be proud of, but there always seemed to be a piece of the puzzle missing. I took a bit of a break when we started a family, and decided to get back into serious competition about 6 years ago, like serious, not messing around, let’s do this!
So how did I do? Well definitely not as good as I was expecting!
I literally threw myself back into competing full force and learned a lot of hard lessons…
I learned that it’s not only important to stay physically fit for my own health and success, or that having my horse fit and well cared for counts too, but that it still didn’t guarantee we would be breaking records in the arena…so what gives?
Heck, my mare was getting better care than the rest of my family at the time, which is Uber important by the way if you are super serious about being highly competitive.
Well…
I learned (the hard, painful way), how staying mentally fit is so much more important than I had given it credit! And it was very apparent that I hadn’t been maintaining that part of myself, not even close. Not only had I not been on top of my mental game when I was actively competing in my younger years, I had stopped training that part of myself pretty much completely, and wow did it ever kick me in the you know where!!
So what made me realize that I needed some serious work in this area?
Well a combination of things really; I was just too stubborn at the time to admit them. Little things like not being able to control my breathing anymore, struggling to visualize any aspect of the run I was hoping for, or not being in control of how a bad run would affect my self-worth…to name a few. I really felt like I was winging it most of the time and had no real control over my success.
I knew deep down that I was good enough and that my horse was too, but our results weren’t consistent and I really didn’t get why. I trained hard, I picked apart my runs, I changed tack, but I was at a loss…I also thought the crappy, overwhelming nerves I was now feeling were my new norm…
I had always had nerves which is definitely normal, but these were way more intense and had taken on a personality of their own!! I felt like they completely took over the reins! That was a very good indication that I wasn’t in control of my success at all!
So I kept pushing myself and I’m sure I would have continued to wing it, and struggle and not really analyse what was actually going wrong had it not been for a serious, unexpected adversity in my life…I won’t go into too much detail in this post, but let’s just say I woke up one morning and my life completely changed.
I went to get up like any other morning and get my kids ready for school, but was hit with blinding pain from my neck, that radiated down my spine and arms. In that very moment I was completely immobilized.
The doctors first thought I had broken my neck, and it was the most terrifying experience in my life. We later were able to determine that I had slipped not one but three discs in my neck. I was unable to walk for 2 weeks, lost the use of my right arm and, it was many months of rehabilitation before I was given the clear to start my life again.
Funny how serious situations tend to give us the opportunity for major reflection…
So what did I end up reflecting on while not being able to use much of anything other than my mind? Well, not only did I realize how much I had NOT been using my thoughts to my advantage, but how now faced with so many unknowns, just how incredibly important my mind would be in getting me through a really crappy situation.
I had to choose how I wanted to view my situation and that would ultimately determine my future. I chose not to be a victim of my circumstances and began to believe that I could get through anything. Something as simple as that very thought started to change my whole perspective on life.
We have 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts every. Single. Day…crazy right?!
How important do you think your mind is now? So incredibly important that we need to start taking this mental toughness game a heck of a lot more seriously. And not just in the arena but in our amazing lives too! Learning how to strengthen my mental toughness muscle is exactly what got me through a not so great time in my life.
We obviously can’t control every single thought we have, but we can definitely shift how we feel about our situation, ourselves and others. That alone, can get us started on the right path towards a better mental state and more success in all parts of our lives. So do yourself a favour if you are facing some kind of adversity in your life right now, no matter how big or small, and change how you feel about it. Add a little touch of optimism; send yourself some love for facing it…show yourself and the world that you’ve got this!
You need it more than you know it...unless of course you are already doing amazing mental work and in that case I would love to hear all about what you are doing because just like you, I am still learning and building on it every single day!
How important is our mental chatter?
Well...it’s so important in fact, that it can determine success or failure in every aspect of our lives, from relationships and jobs, to winning or losing at a barrel race. In the search for success, it’s been drilled into our heads that ‘perfect practice makes perfect’ which still stands true, it’s just they’ve forgotten to mention that this also includes having a solid, unwavering mental game. Yet, mental toughness separates the good from the really GREAT.
We’ve all heard about this mental game thing, but not a lot of us know too much about how it works, let alone REALLY how to use it to help improve our lives and our results. We spend so much time physically preparing for life and competition, but very little time on mental preparation. How you think can literally determine whether you accomplish your goals...it seems pretty important right?!
How well do you perform under pressure? How well do you handle failure or rejection? If your answer is, ‘not so great’ then you’ve got some work to do. If you are looking to go from good to GREAT, then it is imperative that you work on your Mental toughness...
So...
before you read any further, are you 100% ready to find the courage, get serious, and change your success inside the arena and in life?
If your answer is heck yes...Read on!
It definitely takes a huge amount of courage and confidence to believe what you tell yourself, and not what others may be saying about you. It also takes some serious practice, to have a voice inside, that is louder, stronger and more important than any outside words will ever be.
But…
You have the courage and you want the success, so you can make it happen.
Being mentally strong will give you the courage to keep pushing forward and allowing you to focus on the challenge in front of you, even in a competitive situation. Like anything, it takes practice, and most definitely commitment. The belief in yourself always needs nurturing, but when it starts to grow, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.
So now you might ask, but how do I start?
Are you ready for it?! We start by analyzing our feelings...ugh...
Sorry...but just telling you to think positive ain’t going to cut it.
We need to get down and dirty, to determine our best approach and the biggest culprits...remember before, you said you were ready to find success?!
It’s time to check into those emotions...you know which ones I’m talking about…the black out scared sh$%less ones that show up when you start a new business, go to university or enter the arena...These emotions are triggered by thoughts...our...own...thoughts....hmmmm...
In order to move forward we must bravely face all of our own thoughts that show up in these stressful scenarios that cause us to feel scared, frustrated, hopeless etc...This process alone can prove to be uplifting! Put your not so helpful thoughts down on paper, and commit to replacing them with positive ones, just as if you were comforting a close friend about their own fears.
You may already begin to feel the weight lifting off your shoulders...if not, don’t worry remember, this takes practice! The key here is consistency and feel...practice thinking the replaced thoughts and really feeling these new emotions daily.
This is just the beginning of what we are about to dive into, but if you start to work now on your mental fitness, you will blown away at how far you can go!
Are you Brave enough to start? You deserve it!
*Stay Tuned For More on Mental Fitness*
You are Cowgirl Fierce, and you Got This!
]]>Thinking of your struggles, your frustrations and your doubts.
Thinking of how you don’t give yourself enough credit for how far you have come.
When was the last time you took a close look at your accomplishments, without judgement, and seen just how much you’ve done?
]]>Thinking of your struggles, your frustrations and your doubts.
Thinking of how you don’t give yourself enough credit for how far you have come.
When was the last time you took a close look at your accomplishments, without judgement, and seen just how much you’ve done? When have you taken a step back, breathed and reminded yourself that you are doing the best you can with what you’ve got?
Did you know that it’s ok to struggle sometimes?
Well I’m here to tell you girl, you are doing AMAZING even if it doesn’t feel like it. That we’ve all felt those days of frustration and wanting to give up...give up on our horses, ourselves and just life. Behind the fake veil of social media, fake smiles and fake stories, is everyone’s real life crap and you most definitely are NOT the only one suffering, no matter what them other girls try to make you believe.
SO…
I could preach to you to be positive and keep going, and don’t you dare give up and you just hang in there, which is all really super great advice...but what if I said sometimes life just sucks, feels crappy, that there are equally crappy people, and bad things happen for no reason at all.
That maybe it’s not your fault for the way things have been going lately, and it’s OK to feel scared and frustrated and like quitting.
But we can’t quit right?
Well that, girl, brings us around to something that’s not talked about a whole lot. Believe it or not, in some cases, quitting could actually be your silver lining to a not so great situation.
Say WHAT?!
Now just hold up for a second...and let me explain. I’m not saying every time things get rocky, you better toss in the towel…we need to build our resilience muscles somehow…and we all know how powerful, uplifting and life changing having to work hard towards something can be. Or that things in life just happen sometimes, that are completely out of our control.
But…
There are times, it may be way more beneficial for us to
Quit.
In case you are confused, let’s be clear…
There are times we actually need to quit what we are doing in order to change our direction.
However…
You aren’t allowed to stop...
You aren’t allowed to EVER stop dreaming, believing, striving to become better, setting goals, being fierce, you name it!
Sometimes we just get so caught up in our present situation(s), that we can’t see the amazing opportunities, relationships, jobs or even horses that are sitting patiently waiting within reach. We get super busy with trying to make our problems go away, trying to fix something that might not be fixable, and of course avoiding quitting at all costs because we don’t want to be seen as a ‘failure’...that instead we continue to suffer, because we refuse to let go, walk away, or quit.
So if it’s feeling like the harder you hustle, the harder you are pushed back...maybe it’s time to take a step back. Maybe it’s time to touch base with our infamous ‘gut’. Maybe it’s time to consider that you are being guided in a different direction, a better direction.
You know that horse that seems impossible? We’ve all had them, sticking with them long after we should have parted ways. You know it girl, deep down as I’m saying this...Frustrated and disappointed, you put on that smile when deep down you are losing your confidence and becoming miserable.
That relationship with a friend or significant other, you know is beyond fixing, yet you keep trying because you can’t bring yourself to quit? Ya that one, deep down you know it’s time to move on.
So let’s be real here, life sucks the big one sometimes, and doesn’t necessarily turn out the way we planned, but that’s ok. Sometimes we end up with a horse or a friend, or a job that doesn’t make us happy. And it’s ok to feel mad, frustrated, upset and disappointed. The key is not to stay there, not to hold onto something we should have quit a long time ago.
So listen up...Listen to your emotions and know when it’s time to quit, just don’t ever stop.
You are Cowgirl Fierce, and you Got This!
Compassionate, Courageous and Selfless, she represents everything Wilde Child stands for.
Reegan is the definition of a true horsewoman and mentor. Not only does she always lend a helping hand to those in need, she is also always striving to learn more.
Read on to learn more about this vivacious young lady!
Hello my name is Reegan Dempsey, RJ or Red are my nicknames. I am 13 years old and I am in grade 8.
I have 4 horses, 3 donkeys, 1 dog and many cats. I love living on the farm.
I love spending time with my friends, coaches, mentors, family and of course my animals.
I belong to the ABRA association, AHSRA, Amisk 4-H club and the Hardisty Rodeo Association. I live by the 4-H pledge.
I PLEDGE
MY HEAD TO CLEARER THINKING,
MY HEART TO GREATER LOYALTY,
MY HANDS TO LARGER SERVICE,
MY HEALTH TO BETTER LIVING,
FOR MY CLUB, MY COMMUNITY, AND MY COUNTRY.
I have gone to a few leadership camps and functions this year. They have helped me grow as a person.
I work hard in school to achieve the marks I do, and at the end of the year I can see how far I have come.
My goals have changed a bit this year, I still want to compete at the highest caliber that I can, but I also want to be the best that I can be in horsemanship. It's not always winning, it's doing it correctly. That gives me many rewards. I am currently learning through one of my mentors how to train my 3 year old. That has been so rewarding.
I want to continue to work with my art, sketches and designs, I want to keep playing with colors and follow my imagination.
Last year I helped organize a jackpot fundraiser for the Stollery Children's hospital, we raised around $6000-$8000. Last year I decided to ride for 6 kids that I know, or knew. I placed their picture on my saddle pad. I learned how important this hospital is for these kids and others. I rode in memory of a girl that passed away at the age of 4. She was the sister of a friend of mine. I also donated 3 of the `Ùnicorn`
(from the Air Conditioned Shirt)shirts to 3 fundraisers.
1- Cans for courage( the Stollery fundraiser)
2- The Ronald McDonald House fundraiser that my friend Ryen organized.
3- The ABRA PeeWee finals and I was honored to speak in front of a full house. I spoke about the Air Conditioned shirt, how the ` Unicorn shirt `
was created, and I left the kids with a few words to think about that was close to my heart. These words are,
“Always be yourself,
Be kind,
Dream big,
never forget your roots.
I also can be found helping the seniors plant flowers in the spring, picking garbage, picking rocks or painting for the Hardisty Rodeo, I am out and about helping and fundraising for our 4-H club. If at a gymkhana, Rodeo, or a fun riding event I can be found moving barrels, raking or helping a PeeWee. Sometimes you can find me giving support or a needed hug. I love to pay it forward and I am always helping.
For a heavy dose of reality, honesty and inspiration, check out the full interview below.
1) Q: Tell us a bit about what you have been working on lately career wise?
"I am considering going back to school to be an elementary teacher. That way I could have a stable job that allows me to have time during rodeo season to compete. I love coaching kids to ride, and thought this may be a good path to take. Another career goal I am working towards is an equine body worker and therapist. At the moment I am juggling upgrading my math and English as well as working at several different auction marts and waiting tables, but I won’t let it define my future. I love my jobs!"
2) Q: What is something about you that most people don’t know?
"I am such an anxiety person it's not even funny, and I hate confrontation and dealing with angry people because I take things so personally. Things get into my head and I overthink to the point of making myself sick. I've been dealing with certain triggers, but it's still tough. Anxiety is more of a big deal than people realize, it is a very misunderstood topic. 95% of my anxiety has to do with people, rarely ever animals."
3) Q: What types of challenges are you facing at the moment?
"I moved to Ponoka in August and had absolutely nothing but bad luck. In November I was almost homeless, and have been struggling financially for the past 4 months. I work my part times jobs, and haven’t had a permanent home, which is frustrating and scary. Right now I am trying to get back on my feet and be able to afford to keep a horse down here. But things will turn around; I just have to hang in there!"
4) Q: Growing up in a small northern Alberta town did that increase the challenges of reaching your goals and how?
"It was very challenging up there because there was limited access to resources, such as events, mentors/peers, horsepower and even energy. All of those factors drew me to central Alberta where rodeo is more popular and easy to surround myself with."
5) Q: What do you do to stay positive when things aren’t going as planned?
"I want to barrel race more than anything, and be just as successful (if not more successful) than in the past. I want to train my 4 year old from scratch and run him. To stay focused, I like to make lists and write things down such as goals I have, so I have something to work towards. I know what it feels like to be a top barrel racer and run a 1D horse; I am hungry for that feeling again. It feels great to work as a team with horses you can’t live without."
6) Q: If you could tell someone one thing about how important it is to believe in their dreams, what would it be?
"I would emphasize how important it is to believe in your dreams because dreams are what keep us going in life, something to strive towards, a meaning of life in a sense. The journey to fulfill your dreams may be tough and some may be even just out of reach, but don't get discouraged. You are NOT allowed to give up. If they are beginning to look as if they are difficult to attain, sit down and modify them, but believe wholeheartedly that you are worthy of them."
7)Q: You've mentored several young women in the past, tell us more about your mentorship program and how it is beneficial for young women in the equine industry?
"My mentorship program for riders is quite different than most, as I cover many aspects that are often overlooked by coaches. If you are serious about your equine sport, then get serious about your horsemanship and mental game as well. I give you the tools not only to meet but exceed your goals. I build a program that suits you and your horse’s individual needs and style, they are not all the same for the next person or previous person in line. This includes horsemanship from the ground up, mental preparation, patterning and drills, holistic work, tack fit and prep, motivation and goal setting. This is great for girls interested in Queening as well. I am not limited to only western as I coach jumping also."
8) Q: What or who inspires you?
"A lot of the underdogs and smaller names inspire me, honestly I am not too crazy over the big shots, with the exception of Sherry Cervi and Stingray of course. As strange as it sounds, grade horses inspire me like crazy! A lot of the time I don’t even bat an eyelash at these big fancy new names. My gelding Trigger was one of the top horses up north in our prime high school rodeo days, and I have no history on him besides he was a previous calf roping horse and then my friend bought and trained him and ran pro barrels on him, and then eventually sold him to me. I love the old school bloodlines and grade horses, there is a good chance you won’t catch me on a big named papered horse unless I am jockeying for someone else or found the right one. Also, the idea alone of wanting to inspire other competitors and helping them reach their goals inspires me, I think that is pretty cool. I want to be one of those people who, riders of all ages and experience levels can look up to and say, “Because of you, I didn’t give up”. I work hard in order to help others the best I can so I can share that exciting feeling of success with them."
9) Q: What would you like to see more of within the female equine industry?
"I would like to see more team players and less cattiness. I have noticed that some people tend to be so secretive with how they do things and don’t want to help others succeed. They want to see you do good, but never better than them – remember that. This goes for parents as well as kids. Also, I would like to see better horsemanship. Lately I have been watching some “problem horses” and very, very sloppy riding where it does not allow the horse to efficiently do their job or horses are getting mixed signals."
10) Q: If you could tell someone one thing about how important it is to believe in their dreams, what would it be?
"I really doubt myself often and don’t give myself nearly enough credit, and overthinking is a bad one too. Your mind is ultimately your worst enemy if you let it be. I know for a fact that is the number one killer of all dreams more than money issues. I am really afraid that I won’t be able to financially afford to continue barrel racing and that scares me. I want to compete again in the worst way, and trying to work 4 jobs in order to do so. Life gets in the way but when you want something bad enough you need to make priorities and not excuses. A lot of my friends who run have support from family or a significant other, where I am completely on my own. It is kind of scary but I think that gives me another push of motivation to show people that I can do this."
11) Q: You are also an aspiring model, what struggles have you overcome and what would you tell other women wanting to do the same thing?
"I have had a very hard time finding agencies and companies that want to take me on, even small western boutiques. I would love to model for a small town western boutiques! For those of you wanting to get into the modelling side of things, start off small and apply to any little gig that you come across. A great way to start is to find a photography class in need of subjects to photograph (this is how I started)."
12) Q: You've been a part of the equine industry for a long time, why do you hink the Wilde Child Community is beneficial?
"Wilde Child is definitely one of those hidden gems that everyone in the Equine community needs to uncover and have in their life. It is very beneficial because I do not know of any other groups out there who support each other like Wilde Child does. You don’t have to travel your journey alone, this is what we are here for. Competitors need more support and less drama, whether you are just getting into competing, or have been doing it your whole life. Positivity, motivation, support and coaching are major key factors that all play a role in your success. We are all in this together!"
13) Q: What makes the Wilde Child Tribe and company different from what you've previously experienced?
"Wilde Child is hands down one of the coolest groups of badass, strong, helpful people I have graciously been involved with. This is a zero judgement zone where you can vent and cry your heart out or go off on a motivational rant to uplift people, and nobody will have anything bad to say about it. The equine industry is very cliquey and can be intimidating, but you do not have to worry about any of that with us. A lot of people like to use intimidation and fear as a way to make you fail when they can see your potential while you cannot. In our tribe, we help you see your potential and success and give you the tools to overcome the fear and intimidation tactics. The Wilde Child Tribe is a very close knit group of incredible people."
14) Q: Why did you decide to become one of the faces to represent Wilde Child, their message and their products?
"I was thrilled to finally find a group who was all about that positivity and support I am so crazy about. I am a very driven person when it comes to the equine industry and following your dreams and want to help others feel that sense of drive and passion. It is very important to me to have an “average Joe” type individual on the team to show others you do not have to be a big name to be successful. One day I hope that my name will become more recognized, but until then I feel it is crucial to be the “average Joe” in the crowd of big names and walk along side my group of stars and work at this together. I want to share the knowledge and experience I have gathered and I feel strongly that I am capable of doing so, while being seen as equal and down to earth. If I am capable of great things, so are you! Don’t let anyone tell you different. I have been through hell and want to set a good example for others not to give up. Severe anxiety, temporary homelessness, major financial loss… those were only some of my obstacles. What’s your excuse?"
15) Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
"I am working hard at getting my own place and planting some roots here in central Alberta and getting more clients and horses to work with (both riding and holistic/intuitive therapy). By then my current barrel and breakaway prospect should be fine-tuned and running well and I will be competing again for sure! I aim to do some motivational clinics and work alongside Shilah promoting Wilde Child by means of fun things such as videos, interviews and event appearances. I want to see Wilde Child go BIG, and would love to be part of the contribution."
16) Q: What does the Wilde Child Motto 'Don't let them tame you' represent to you?
"This motto really hits home for me. Ever since I was young, I have always been part of that metaphoric “flock of sheep” and couldn’t see past the wool over my eyes up until a couple years ago when I figured out how to be my own person. Since then I have become that wolf in sheep’s clothing, but only to help others see what I see in terms of life and following your dreams. You do not have to follow the norms of society like everyone else. I like to stay under the radar for a little bit and try not to cause too many waves, because that seems to be what makes people the most uncomfortable – change. Big change too fast really freaks people out and then they all of a sudden drop their dreams in a panic. Don’t let people around you take your dreams from you or make you live your life a certain way just because they don’t understand or are jealous. People seem to be quite afraid of going against the grain because they are scared of what others may think. I have suffered with that since day one and I am finally getting over that hurdle. Life is far too short, don’t let other people (or yourself) get in the way of your own succeed."
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That is exactly where Wilde Child began...with a vision that took on a life of its own. I started on this beautiful journey, with a simple idea and it has become so much more...
]]>"All great things begin with a vision...a dream..." - Estee Lauder -
A BRIEF HISTORY
That is exactly where Wilde Child began...with a vision that took on a life of its own. I started on this amazing journey, with a simple idea and it became so much more...A place where I have grown and been challenged to dream bigger than I imagined possible. Where I hope to continue to inspire, enlighten and unite those who are also seeking to follow their own dreams and find purpose within themselves.
Like a lot of horse crazy girls, I loved horses from before I could walk. I could not get enough, and grew up spending my summers as close and as often as possible to my four legged passion. Instead of outgrowing it as some do, my passion just kept getting bigger. I had dreams of being a vet, a jockey, a trainer, a barrel racer...anything to do with horses. I loved the competitive world, and started to compete in gymkhana and barrel racing as soon as I was old enough to ride my horse to town.
Without a lot of support from family, this left me having to dig deep to find a way to believe in myself and my passions. And, without a way to transport my horses, I got to places the only way I knew how and that was on horseback.
During these years, I competed in various equine disciplines. Everything from halter classes, and western pleasure to team penning, barrel racing and roping were on my agenda. I spent many summer days riding in the mountains, and was fortunate enough to get to experience ranch work as well.
For much of my life, I have also been a passionate entrepreneur, and started my very first business breaking colts and working with problem horses at the age of 15. From that point on, I never looked back and went through the school of hard knocks as a business owner in numerous industries, gaining experience and life lessons on the way, but always coming back to horses.
Later on in life I settled down, and due to moving for work and raising a young family, I put the competitive part on hold...until recently.
Like everyone though, life does not unfold without some struggles, and set backs. When I was finally able to come back into the competitive side of the equine industry, I realized things had changed. But more importantly I had changed. The belief and confidence I once had, seemed to have been stifled overnight. With just what felt like a few short years of not being actively competitive and involved, I felt like I had lost a part of myself.
It took some really deep soul searching for me to realize, it hadn't been lost just that I had changed and evolved. I had become more humble, a bit wiser, and maybe a bit less confident because of, well just life....
I began to realize I needed to begin to believe in myself again. I needed to allow myself to DREAM like I did in my younger years, that it was OK to evolve. Once I began to do that, not only did I start feeling more confident competing, but my creative ideas really started to flow. During my eye opening experience, I also began to realize I wasn't the only one that had experienced this evolving....
Struggles help shape a person, and show you how strong you really are. Through these struggles, I have learned much about overcoming adversity and personal growth. When things got especially rough, I was drawn to the power of healing work for myself. This has been a cornerstone to overcoming many challenges in my life, and I continue to build on it and am now beginning to share my knowledge and abilities with others.
"We all have that little part of us that needs encouragement, and sometimes suffers from self doubt...we aren't alone out there in the arena, in the industry, in the life...I hope to encourage you to believe in yourself, know that you are good enough, and you WILL succeed because you are made of great things. You deserve for your dreams to come true. After all...You are Cowgirl Fierce!"
Shilah Harmer